The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize