to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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