Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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