oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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