I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
