I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize