This girl is more easily done than said...
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
