She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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