Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
