i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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