I need help removing her.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
