This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
