Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
