the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
