What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
