First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
