Say something about gay babies.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
