dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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