I like to think it a success when the cops are called
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
