i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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