their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
