I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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