Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize