I wish they made helmets for livers.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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