For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize