This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
