Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
