Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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