maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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