There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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