Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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