I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
