it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize