how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
