I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize