She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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