so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
