This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
