she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize