You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
