Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
