My nipple is on Facebook.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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