Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize