Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
