so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
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If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
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casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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