I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
