Me too!
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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