I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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