I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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