That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.