I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.