I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.