I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
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Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
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Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.