she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?