I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Randomize
