is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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