State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
cat food counts as protein by the way
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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